Grey.  That’s the only adjective I could use to describe the Macdonald Cardrona hotel as we approached it.  The clouds were very grey too and the filtered light reflected grimly on the dirty paintwork.  We could see the hotel in the distance and as we got closer and it loomed bigger, my stomach sank lower… and lower.  Had we made a big mistake?  Its dirty paintwork gave the first impression of it being a run down and uncared for establishment, the effect exacerbated by the dreich weather.  As we pulled into the carpark, I crossed my fingers that the hotel’s interior would be more welcoming.

We walked into reception at around 2.15pm, expecting to check in.  Unfortunately though, we were told without apology that our room wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be until 3pm.  We’d found the Cardrona’s check in time on the hotel’s website before leaving, so after taking a seat in the adjoining lounge area we looked again, thinking we were going mad.  The website indeed informed us that check in was at 2pm, although it stated that some Macdonald hotels may differ.  The Cardrona must have been one of these and had we known this, we would have arrived later and saved the other residents from over an hour of grizzling from our disgruntled 9 week old baby.

We weren’t the only ones to have made the mistake.  As we waited, the queue of guests hoping to check in grew and grew some more.  Each party was told that the rooms were not ready and were invited to take a seat in the lounge.  Soon, every seat was taken.  When we arrived there was a young couple cuddled up on a sofa in the window, enjoying afternoon tea and the panoramic view.  Their bubble soon burst, when an elderly couple and their two dogs asked to sit with them because there was nowhere else to wait.  The lounge became packed, but the receptionist kept sending frustrated guests in, telling them the housekeeping system was “updating”.

While we waited, we ordered some lunch.  The £7.75 wrap we were served was no better than a supermarket meal deal.

We were told that our key would be brought to us when our room was ready, but this didn’t happen.  We had to queue up again and eventually discovered our room was ready.  The next hurdle we had to jump came in the form of a broken lift.  With a baby, it’s difficult to travel lightly and the stairs weren’t really an option.  The lift had become stuck on the top floor and I asked the ladies on reception whether there was anything they could do.  I was told that they would reset it when they got a chance.  Twenty minutes later, we made it onto our level, feeling tired and frustrated.

The sight that greeted us was horrid.  The corridor was lined with bags of rubbish and beds.  We made our way to our room in stunned silence.  We found our door and right next to it, we were treated to our very own pile of discarded trash.

We’d booked the hotel’s “Date Night Getaway” which promised that we would, “Arrive at our doors ready to experience some quality time together”.  The two single beds we faced when we opened our bedroom door didn’t really evoke the romantic atmosphere we’d been hoping for.

As part of the experience we were supposed to receive a thirty minute spa treatment. However, we were told there was no availability.  I was incredibly disappointed, probably irrationally so.  As a new mum, the promise of an upcoming pamper session had got me through some sleepless nights.  After some to-ing an fro-ing both in person and over the phone, the spa eventually said it could fit me in afterall, at 9am the following morning.

We’d had disappointment on top of inefficiency on top of uncleanliness at the Cardrona, so we were due some positivity.  This came in the form of a large, bright room with an impressive view.

The absolute highlight of the visit however, was the evening meal.  Despite the restaurant being large and very busy, there was a charming, mellow atmosphere and we spent several hours decompressing and enjoying a delicious meal.  The experience really felt like the “Date Night Getaway” we’d been looking forward to.

After an impressive meal and intimate dining experience, we felt happy and relaxed.  But the bill made our hackles rise once again.  We had asked for a specific bottle of merlot, but had been served a different (and more expensive) one.  We hadn’t realised there was more than one merlot on the wine list, we weren’t offered the opportunity to taste the wine before it was served and we had assumed the merlot we were drinking was the one we’d requested.  We had to ask to speak to three different members of staff before the problem could be rectified and the bill corrected.

We made our way to our single beds.

The restaurant is fantastic but the hotel really lets it down.  A disappointing 2/5.

I have tried a number of times to book a table at The Witchery, but haven’t been able to.  Demand is extremely high; with countless five star reviews on Tripadvisor bearing titles such as, ‘Enchanting’ and ‘Casting a Spell Over Edinburgh’, diners are wise to plan a visit well in advance.  We were lucky enough to receive a gift voucher for The Witchery last Christmas and were finally able to use it on our wedding anniversary.

Located very close to Edinburgh Castle at the top of the Royal Mile, the restaurant is housed in the basement of Boswell’s Court which was built in 1595.  The establishment also occupies other parts of the building and the one adjacent to it, which together hold a second dining room called ‘The Secret Garden’ and nine bedroom suites.  The Royal Mile was remarkably – actually, eerily – quiet as we approached the restaurant, thanks possibly to the draw of Princes Street’s Christmas Market. The Witchery quite literally glowed as we approached it along the cobbles in the dark.

For me, walking into The Witchery evoked a sense of time displacement, only stymied by the Nike tracksuit top of a fellow diner. The low ceiling, dark wood panelling, wall tapestries and candlelight created an elegant yet snug – and dare I say it, romantic – ambience.

As we were seated, we were handed a tome which turned out to be the wine list. Apparently, it contains over 500 different varieties and has collected a number of awards over the years, the most recent being the AA’s Wine Award for Scotland and UK Wine Award 2013. It certainly contained the broadest choice we have ever been offered. However, my husband is not a big drinker and was escorting his eight-and-a-half-months-pregnant wife, so his was limited to seventeen ‘by the glass’ options. I’m told the Cabernet Sauvignon he plumped for hit the right spot.

The food at The Witchery is predictably expensive, with main courses coming in at around £28. A ‘three courses for £35’ table d’hôte is also an option and the one that we went for. Having very similar tastes (and currently avoiding red meat) we both chose the ‘Iron Bark pumpkin velouté’ to start, which owing to an apparent pumpkin shortage turned out to be a less audacious ‘carrot and coriander velouté’ instead. This was warming, full-flavoured and very enjoyable. It was also served full to the brim of two very big soup bowls, which was fortunate because our main courses looked like the second starters we never ordered.

My husband’s face was a picture as our ‘Tender stem broccoli, baked goats cheese, pine nut crumble’ was served. He was horrified. I was also pretty shocked, but nobody wants to see an elephantine woman moan about portion size. The crumble – which turned out to be the approximate size of one fish cake – tasted lovely. The accompanying leaf of lettuce was refreshing.

It seemed such a shame that the magic had been killed so early on into our dining experience. With baited breath, we ordered our desserts. I chose the ‘Glazed lemon tart with bramble sorbet’. My husband managed to convince the waiter to let him have the chocolate tart from the à la carte menu, which improved the mood somewhat. Both tasted good – the bramble sorbet being the highlight – but weren’t sensational.

As we walked back down an even quieter Royal Mile, my husband asked me how I would rate the restaurant. My internal monologue chided, ‘Come on, it’s The Witchery. Everybody loves The Witchery. Surely, it was the dining experience of a lifetime?’ Certainly, as Tripadvisor had promised, the setting and atmosphere was ‘enchanting’. Sadly though – and I did feel sad – the food wasn’t ‘all that’. I also wouldn’t ordinarily expect to feel hungry after an upscale three course meal. I couldn’t plump on a rating during that quiet walk, so my husband asked me if I would go back to The Witchery. We both agreed without hesitation that we would not.

After a ponder, 3/5.

I used to live in Bristol and one of my favourite restaurants there is Loch Fyne.  It serves predominantly seafood but is also a grill and has lots of veggie options.  The moules-frites was my favourite treat and during one visit my husband ate the best salmon he’d ever tasted.  We’re fairly new to Edinburgh and feeling we’d exhausted our current eating haunts, I thought I’d have a look online to see if there is a Loch Fyne in Edinburgh.  I was excited to find that there is one in Leith, so I booked a table.

The chain’s website tells visitors that the business began as a small oyster bar on the banks of Loch Fyne and has expanded to more than forty restaurants.  We’d only been to one Loch Fyne restaurant before, so we were really looking forward to finding out what a second one had to offer.  It’s in a picturesque location at Newhaven Habour and is one of a number of restaurants sitting alongside the water.

Walking into the restaurant, I was struck by how big it is.  In front of the main doors is a smart fishmonger, which was closed by the time of our 7.30pm booking.  To the left of the entrance is a small desk holding the bookings register.  I scoured the restaurant to see if there was anybody available to show us to our table, but couldn’t see any waiting staff.  We stood there for about five minutes feeling increasingly uncomfortable, until a chef from the open kitchen area (probably sensing our impatience) told us to sit wherever we fancied and handed us some menus.

As we waited to place our order, we were again struck by the lack of waiting staff.  There were just two waiters and although the restaurant wasn’t very busy, they appeared to be run off their feet.  We sat for about ten minutes and then the Restaurant Manager came to our table to introduce herself and to take our drinks order; she was very friendly.  About half an hour after arriving at the restaurant, a waiter came to take our food order.  He apologised for the long wait and made some suggestions about which food choices would compliment each other.  When my husband ordered a glass of the house red, he recommended another wine for just 20 pence per glass extra which – I’m told – turned out to be a very good choice.  He was clearly trying to provide the best service but seemed to be thoroughly tired out.

After the very long wait to order, our potted mackerel starter arrived surprisingly quickly.  This consisted of a small pot of mackerel of a much thicker consistency than a pâté with two small pieces of toasted baguette.  The mackerel was absolutely delicious and I thought a couple of extra pieces of bread would help to make the most of it.  Once again though, I couldn’t find our waiter.  From my seat I could see into the area next to the bar, where he was frantically pulling clean glasses from a dishwasher leaving the restaurant without a single member of waiting staff.  I’m sure this wasn’t his fault; the restaurant was simply severely understaffed.  Eventually he came back to the restaurant area, by which time my husband had finished his starter.  I asked if I could have one or two extra slices of bread to accompany my mackerel, which he agreed to.  When the Restaurant Manager brought over a whole box of bread containing ten or more slices, I asked if it was possible to have just a couple. She said the bread was on the house, so not to worry.

Our waiter seemed a little bit disappointed that we were both ordering fish and chips and I can’t say I blame him.  In my opinion, the menu is superb.  Along with the regular à la carte options diners can also choose from a wide selection of pan-fried, grilled or steamed fish fillets.  It was a tough choice, but when you fancy fish and chips it’s very difficult to resist!  I ordered haddock with regular batter, french fries and mushy peas and my husband ordered cod with tempura batter and twice-cooked chips.  The meals looked entirely underwhelming when they arrived; I came to the conclusion that it was because the plates were too big.  I’m a big fan of minted mushy peas and I would have preferred a bigger portion of these.  But as expected, the haddock melted in my mouth.  It was fantastic.

The desserts looked similarly disappointing on the plate, but were delicious.  I opted for the crème brûlée and although I tried, I just couldn’t finish the helping.  There was more there than there appeared to be!

Loch Fyne in Edinburgh has the potential to be a really special restaurant.  The food is really very good, but it isn’t presented well.  It was a real struggle to get served right from the outset and to put it bluntly, the hunt for a waiter was a hassle throughout the whole meal.  With a bit of fine tuning, this could be an excellent venue for a special occasion or celebration. Perhaps the overhead spotlight lighting could be dimmed a little to add a bit of atmosphere.  Loch Fyne regularly offers deals via websites such as vouchercloud.com and to customers on its email mailing list.  Using one of these vouchers, we saved 25% from our food bill.  We were also given a membership card to become a ‘friend’ of Loch Fyne, benefits of which include special offers on food and wine, discounts on meals and fish purchased from their fishmonger and entry into a monthly prize draw.  I want to be a ‘friend’ of Loch Fyne but having arrived with high expectations I left feeling a little bit disappointed.  The food is its saviour and I hope to return if I can stomach the long wait to eat it.

3/5

We took a punt when we booked to stay at Fonab Castle in Pitlochry. We knew very little about it and didn’t know anybody else who had stayed there. It is also expensive; the spa and leisure facilities aren’t yet open and the cheapest rate we could find was £160 bed and breakfast for a Tuesday night.

So when we arrived we were relieved to find a beautiful building combining old and new architecture, a very friendly receptionist who showed us to our room personally, and gorgeous accommodation.

We had chosen a bedroom on the first floor of the modern wing and we were delighted with it.  Not only was it sizeable, with a small lounge area, but the decoration was fabulous and the views from our balcony sublime.  Fonab Castle is next to Loch Faskally and the lookout from the majority of the balconies, hotel brasserie and bar is stunning.  Our bathroom was quite small but adequate and we were provided with some striking Mugler toiletries and soaps.  There was also a Nespresso machine.  Not only did the concierge help us upstairs with our luggage, but he brought us decaffeinated Nespresso capsules and fresh milk too.  The customer service was impeccable.

We ate a light lunch in the bar, which is on the first floor of the hotel. Some visitors were enjoying afternoon tea, with cake stands full of sandwiches and sweet treats. There was a very relaxed atmosphere; we couldn’t help but sit and stare out of the floor to ceiling windows at the loch view and highland landscape. There wasn’t a dinner package available when we booked and I wonder if this might change in the future. Sandemans’ fine dining restaurant offers a nine course or five course gourmet menu from Wednesday – Saturday. On the Tuesday of our visit we dined in the brasserie, which is on the ground floor and below the bar with the same loch views. We were given a lovely table by itself in the corner of the room and even though we ate burgers, chips and onion rings, with the view, candlelight and decor it felt like a special occasion. Some of the other tables for two were very close together, so I would recommend asking for one by itself if you’re hoping for a more memorable dining experience.

Breakfast was an equally fun experience with three courses to choose from, each made to order.  I had a banana and yoghurt smoothie, caramelised grapefruit and a muffin with smoked salmon and scrambled egg, which was delicious.  My husband had pancakes with fresh berries.  It felt like a real treat.

We had a look into the old building, which was charming with its old stone spiral staircase.  There are plenty of bedrooms in there, too.  We also walked around the building and towards the water.  Unfortunately the path around Loch Faskally wasn’t open, but we did have a good gawp at the view from a few different vantage points.  It is absolutely beautiful, especially if you can look beyond the dam, and would make an ideal base for a walking holiday.

The spa and leisure centre is currently being built opposite the hotel and we’d love to come back when it’s open.  I just wonder by how much the price of a stay will rocket, and whether it will be prohibitively expensive.  Fingers crossed, it won’t.

An impressive 4/5.

Crieff Hydro in Perthshire has been enticing guests to visit for rest and recuperation for nearly 150 years. It was opened in 1868 by physician Thomas H. Meikle as The Strathearn Hydropathic Establishment Company. Prosperous Victorians would travel via the Caledonian Railway from the lowlands of Scotland to experience the freezing waters, fresh mountain air and wholesome local food. The water is now (thankfully) a lot warmer, but little about the healing ethos of the establishment has changed.

The hotel is based on a vast site, which also includes self-catering holiday cottages, a golf course, an activity centre and a huge amount of scenery around which to walk – or Segway – and explore.  There is plenty to fill your time with at the resort, but if you feel like a short walk into the town of Crieff you’ll find some lovely little shops.  We decided to book a two-night stay at the hotel during October. I should say now that it is a firm favourite of ours. We were introduced to Crieff Hydro by my mother-in-law who used to stay there with her parents when she was a child. She and my father-in-law spent part of their Honeymoon there, as did my husband and I. We also tend to visit annually as a family; it’s absolutely ideal for a group, because we can all go off and take part in whatever activities we fancy during the day, then get together for a meal in the evening to share our experiences.

In the past we have tried Segway-ing around the forest, quad biking, four-by-four off road driving and a high ropes tree top adventure, during which you climb up into the trees and – while securely harnessed – attempt walking across narrow ropes, jumping between barrels and (my favourite) zip lining across huge expanses of forest. It is really easy to book these activities either via a desk in the hotel or through the activity centre itself, and they’re often available on the day.

This time around though, there were to be no such activities for me. At nearly seven months pregnant, it’s as much as I can do to climb the stairs without huffing and puffing. Immediately we arrived, I felt at ease. The receptionist was extremely friendly and booked us into the main Meikle restaurant for dinner that evening without a problem. We’d gone for a two-night dinner, bed and breakfast package which for two adults sharing a double room amounted to £370. The ‘dinner’ part of the deal had changed since our last visit; instead of being able to simply dine inclusively in the evening, guests can now use their £25 allowance for lunch or food at the other eateries throughout the hotel. As well as the main Meikle restaurant, this includes the sports bar, Winter Garden, brasserie and club house next to the activity centre.

I was really happy with our room. When we were booking there appeared to be three ‘levels’ of double – standard, executive and signature. We went for the middle one, and weren’t disappointed. It was on the ground floor at the front of the hotel, plenty big enough for two guests and very tastefully decorated. The recent £40 million investment in the hotel really shows.

The bathroom was also a good size, and what’s more we were provided with flannels!  This always pleases me.  As my mum would say, “Little things please little minds.” In case of disappointment, I should add that flannels are not provided in ‘standard’ rooms and I have had to ask for one on most of the other occasions I have stayed at the hotel.

Crieff Hydro is a wonderful place to ‘chill out’.  We made use of the spa, where I had an excellent ‘mother to be’ massage. My experience of these has been mixed (see Stobo Castle) but this one went on for longer than I had booked and the masseuse really took her time over my crunchy shoulders and problematic skin.  We appeared to have all the time in the world, which is exactly the feeling I wanted – and managed – to hold on to and take with me throughout the remainder of my stay.

I didn’t use the swimming pool this time, nor the jacuzzi, sauna, steam room and gym.  I have done in the past though, and the main swimming pool area can sometimes be very busy (and echoey) with children.  For £10 adults can also use the Victorian Spa, which you’ll find down a staircase below the regular swimming and spa facilities.  This also contains a pool, jacuzzi, sauna and steam room, but is an adults-only facility.  It also looks a little bit prettier.  We paid to use it on one occasion, but weren’t entirely convinced it was worth the extra cash.  However, if you want a really quiet or ‘couply’ experience and the main swimming pool is particularly busy, then this would be a good – and more special – option.

I have always really looked forward to eating in the Meikle restaurant while staying at Crieff Hydro.  This time was no exception and we were not disappointed.  The waiting staff were extremely friendly.  Commenting on my bump, the maître d’ got himself confused and picked up a child’s menu!  He said he hoped to see us back next year, baby in tow, which was heart-warming.  There were a number of babies and small children in the restaurant, but because it’s such a magnificent space (in fact, more of a ballroom) any little cries are absorbed by the furnishings and hubub of warm conversation.  This is reassuring for guests and new parents alike!*  The food was superb.  We were offered as much complimentary bread as we needed and there was a lot of choice for meat eaters, pescatarians and vegetarians alike.  The menu stays the same over a number of days, but new ‘specials’ are added every day to the selection of starters, main courses and desserts.  There is certainly enough choice to allow for a different meal choice each evening of a short stay, even for a veggie like me.

You can spend money at Crieff Hydro, be that on drinks in the cosy drawing room area, lunch in the glorious Winter Garden, treatments in the spa or Segway-ing at the activity centre.  But you want to spend money there, because it’s worth every penny and you feel like a valued customer.  Our two-day visit came in the middle of a holiday, during which we stayed in a few different hotels.  Crieff Hydro was definitely the highlight and we certainly came away with a real sense of relaxation and well-being.

A soul-enriching 5/5.

*We will most certainly visit Crieff Hydro again during 2015, when we will make use of the seemingly huge number of children’s activities and facilities.  So be sure to check back for more information about those.  This will be a very different type of stay, I’m in no doubt!

Kinloch Rannoch is a really special place for us and we have been visiting the Macdonald Loch Rannoch Hotel for around seven years. I have fallen in love with the area, which in my opinion is truly magical. I’ve spent time there in all seasons and perhaps my favourite time of year to visit is October. Nothing beats standing at the shore of the Loch with the grey sky reflected in its rippling water and the wind lashing at your cheeks. It’s where my husband proposed to me and it will always be one of my favourite places in the world to spend some quiet time.

During our last visit the weather was surprisingly warm and sunny though; it even defied the forecast which predicted torrential downpours.

The quality of our stays at the hotel itself have varied. I feel it’s one of those establishments you visit for ‘old time’s sake’ and sentiment rather than a luxurious, hassle-free getaway. This time we paid for a room with a loch view and the rate which averaged £183 per night included dinner, bed and breakfast. The rooms in this hotel really do fluctuate wildly in quality (avoid room 14 at all costs) but I was really pleased with the sight that greeted me when I opened the door.

We even had a small plate of chocolates waiting for us, which was a lovely surprise. I felt then that perhaps something had changed at the hotel since our last visit. I’d clocked some flowers in the bar area, fairy lights embellishing jars of potpourri. The paintwork was still scuffed and tired and the radiators peeling, but somebody at the hotel was partially aware that first impressions count.

Dinner at the Macdonald Loch Rannoch hotel can be an ordeal. Never assume you’ll be able to get the reservation you’re hoping for, even if you’re paying for a dinner, bed and breakfast package. Last time we visited – in May 2014 – we were told that due to a big group booking we couldn’t eat until 9.30pm. After some persuasion, the restaurant manager agreed to seat us at a more palatable 7.45pm. This time, we were told that we could eat only at quarter-to-nine or 6.30pm. Neither really appealed, but we opted for the earlier time. We were seated in a room next to the main dining area, in front of some big doors which opened out into the carpark. It was pretty drafty, so seeing some free tables in the main dining area we asked politely if we could possibly move due to the cold. We were met with a rather haughty response from the maitre d’: there were no alternatives available. When we pointed out the empty tables we were told that we would have to wait ten minutes, which we readily agreed to. We were however moved without the threatened wait, when it became clear to the maitre d’ that his excuses had been exhausted.

The atmosphere in the main dining room has the potential to be charming.  It has a cosy hunter’s lodge feel which when the wind is howling and the rain battering the windows, there are few other places I’d rather be.  The same is true of the seating area next to reception.  I’ve had some blissful afternoons sat by the open fire reading or writing and some really memorable evenings playing chess with a glass of red. Unfortunately though, any hope of atmosphere this time was annihilated by a very loud CD of tracks such as ‘No Matter What’ and ‘Candle in the Wind’ played on the saxophone. One run through of this would have been quite enough, but it was played on repeat throughout the evening and then throughout breakfast the following morning, too.

If you’re a vegetarian there is a very limited choice for your on the dinner menu, which itself remains unchanged for a number of consecutive evenings. As a result, I had to have the same main meal for both dinners during our two night stay. The lady on the table next to us decided not to follow suit, but was instead forced to have a vegetarian starter with chips.  The desserts – although repeated night after night – were interesting. The DIY Lemon Meringue Pie was memorable for the right reasons.  But I would urge you not to order the rocket-fuel decaffeinated coffee in the restaurant; it’s too strong to be drinkable.

While the restaurant staff are unfriendly and dour, the bar staff are extremely warm and welcoming. I had some lovely chats with the two ladies who were working there during our stay. They also very kindly re-made my decaffeinated coffee and it was delicious.

The swimming and spa facilities were better than last time we visited. The water in the pool was certainly warm enough for an enjoyable swim and the sauna and steam room were working, as was the previously ‘out of order’ shower in the men’s changing room. The water in the swimming pool didn’t smell particularly clean though; a couple of whiffs put me off a second dip.

When we came to check out of the Macdonald Loch Rannoch Hotel, some drinks which were not ours had been added to our bill. I was also surprised to see that we had been charged for the bread we were offered during dinner; we were not told that there was an additional charge for this. I told the receptionist (and Hotel Manager who happened to be sitting beside her) that I thought it was a little bit naughty to offer bread to guests and then charge them for it on check-out. I also told them we had been coming to the hotel for many years and had never been charged for bread before. They both replied it was now Macdonald policy. However, we had been fortunate enough to stay at the wonderful Macdonald Bath Spa Hotel a fortnight before and had not been charged for bread. I also told them that we had visited the Rannoch Hotel just four months ago and hadn’t had to pay for it then, but I was told I must be mistaken. This left a really bitter taste as we were leaving the hotel. That afternoon we received an email from the Hotel Manager, who clearly regretted our argument on departure and offered to reimburse us the cost of the bread. This was very kind, but it was unfortunate he didn’t realise that the £6 wasn’t really the issue. More worrying was the underhand way of offering something chargeable as though it was complimentary and then compounding the issue by arguing the point.

I’ll never stop visiting Kinloch Rannoch, but every time we stay at the Macdonald Loch Rannoch Hotel we wonder if we’ll be back. This visit was no exception.

A predictable 3/5.

Stobo Castle is a beautiful, early 1800s Grade A listed building in Peebleshire. We had driven past the entrance to its long driveway a number of times and out of curiosity I visited the website to take a look. For the average traveller it’s an expensive stay; many would consider it a luxury. In October 2014 we decided to book ourselves in, preparing to be wowed. The website markets the hotel as a health spa and on booking we were given two options: A ‘Revitalising Break’ which involved full use of the spa and all meals from dinner on arrival to lunch on departure, or a ‘Pure Spa Break’ which included the same spa and dining allowances plus two spa treatments. We opted for two nights from the first package, reasoning that we could add treatments should we wish. We booked into the Castle Lodge – which we were told was a 200 yard walk from the main building – and counted down the days until our visit.

As we pulled into Stobo Castle’s driveway, I actually held my breath. In the sun the building appeared magnificent. We parked outside the main entrance before popping inside to check in. The receptionist was extremely warm and welcoming, taking the time to show us inside, to point out the dining areas and drawing room and to give us a quick tour of the spa. She gave us a small map directing us to our accommodation and we eagerly jumped back into the car.

My heart sank when we arrived at Castle Lodge. It looked like a 1960s care home. Due to the amount we were paying (an eye-watering £238 per night), I reassured myself that the rooms themselves would impress. But when we got inside, my heart sank right through my boots. We had both stayed in bigger (and more aesthetically pleasing) Travelodge rooms, which is exactly what our accommodation resembled. We were aghast at the money we were wasting.

The only redeeming feature of our accommodation was the Molton Brown toiletries in the small bathroom.

Walking back into the luxury of the main building – and spa – helped to piece together the shattered dream of our ‘perfect’ getaway just a little bit. There’s a large concourse area with comfortable seating, where you can enjoy a cocktail or smoothie from the cafe. The facilities were good, with a lovely big swimming pool and various other treats such as a hydrapool, sauna, steam room, tropical shower and outdoor hot tub. The atmosphere at Stobo Castle is – as you might expect – very relaxed. Guests spend the day in their dressing gowns and slippers and can move freely as such around the spa, into the drawing room and dining areas for breakfast and lunch. Staff were keen to point out the free papers and bowl of fruit in the drawing room. However, still reeling from the state (and cost) of our accommodation I was hesitant to regard anything in the place as ‘free’.

Talking of freebies, a little card in our room told us that our car would be washed during our stay. I did see a man with a pressure washer in the car park and a puddle next to the car suggested a water-based activity had occurred in the vicinity. It was unclear from the car’s cleanliness whether the ‘car wash’ had happened, though. It’s a lovely idea and we were very grateful for the suggestion. But if you visit Stobo Castle and receive a similar offer, don’t get your hopes up for high gloss and sparkles.

The highlight of the trip to Stobo Castle was the gorgeous Japanese Garden. A short walk down the hill from the main building, it’s a tranquil space which is absolute bliss to explore. I found this to be the real space for relaxation, thought and rejuvenation. I would highly recommend a visit; in my opinion if you visit Stobo Castle but miss this, you’re losing out on a valuable and memorable experience.

There’s no need to reserve a table for dinner; it’s served between 6.30pm and 7.45pm and you turn up whenever suits. The first night we were shown into a very pink and very brightly lit dining room. I was impressed with the menu; I don’t eat red meat and I’m seven months pregnant, so I can be something of a fussy eater. The starter arrived within a couple of minutes of ordering, which I can only describe as a surprise. The rest of the courses arrived at a similar pace. The food was good and nobody wants to wait hours for a meal. But I was glad that we hadn’t chosen to eat there for a celebration or special event. There wasn’t any sense of ‘occasion’ and we felt as if we were on a production line of guests being brought in, served and shown out in as quick a succession as possible. We were offered coffee in the drawing room, which was a welcome relief. Finally we could breathe, let our food settle and talk about the whirlwind of food that had just hit us! On our way to the drawing room, we did stick our heads around the door of another dining room next door to ours. This was much more atmospheric with wood paneling, dim lighting and candles. The following evening we asked to sit in there instead and I would recommend anyone who’s dining at Stobo Castle as a treat or for a special occasion to do likewise.

With a heavy stomach – not just because of my pregnancy – I retired. Unfortunately, the mattress in our room was the most uncomfortable that either of us had ever encountered (and through travelling and work we’ve stayed in some dives). I certainly woke up feeling that I could do with a massage. I crawled to the bathroom, wincing at the 7.30am alarm. Like most other people, I get up early for work every weekday. But on the first morning of my holiday, it felt a little too early for comfort. If you value your lie ins and a leisurely start while on holiday, breakfast served from 8am – 9am is not ideal. Thank goodness the food didn’t disappoint. Perhaps one saving grace is the 12 noon check out time, which means you have a full morning to use the facilities before departing.

Unfortunately, the very friendly lady on the spa reception couldn’t book me in for the mother-to-be treatment I had hoped for. However, she was able to fit in a 25 minute back massage. I have been lucky enough to have a few different pregnancy back massages and this one felt rushed. And when I checked the clock after it had finished, I realised it really had been rushed, ending in just 18 minutes. Afterwards, I ordered a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows from the cafe.

It arrived without its marshmallows, which I felt summed up the whole trip.

A disappointing (and potentially tear-inducing) 3/5.